The X Files vs. Jonathan Creek: 2 - The Omega Man
by Vyla Xenia
Summary: X Files using a Jonathan Creek episode


Jonathan Creek vs. The X Files  
  
2: The Omega Man  
  
Note: this was written before series 9: it does not take regard of recent changes in the series.  
  
"Geez agent Scully you look a bit of a state."  
  
Scully looked at her partner, Agent Doggett. "Don't we love a considerate man?" she replied. "I just slept badly last night ok?."  
  
Doggett gave her very serious look. "I'm sorry...I didn't realize" he answered, trying not to sound too sarcastic.  
  
"Haha. Funny". She glanced at her reflection in the window. "But you're right - I do look a bit of a state!" she answered, running her fingers through her hair. "What have we got today then?"  
  
Doggett quickly checked his file, raised his eyebrow and replied: "Well it looks like that virus is completely under control now, so unless something 'spooky' (Scully gave him an I-do-try-to-take-the-X-files-seriously look) then we're assisting in the Harris Carter drug case.  
  
"It's still going on?" asked Scully. "I thought they'd cleared him now."  
  
"Apparently not, recent information seems to-" Doggett stopped as there was a knock at the door. A tall man with no ID entered, carrying a small, unsigned FedEx package. "It's clean" he answered, handing it to Scully then turning heel and striding silently out of the room.  
  
Scully hesitated for a moment. Her name was printed on the front, but did not use 'Agent'. She stared at it for a second, and then began to open it. Doggett watched carefully, brows narrowed.  
  
Out fell single pieces of paper, and a small metal model of an alien. "What the..." Scully questioned.  
  
"Read the note" Doggett said, handing her the thick, cream writing paper.  
  
Scully attempted to recognize to the handwriting, without avail, then began to read.  
  
"'D. Scully. For an answer to all your questions ("there's a cliché", thought Scully), and the key to Agent Mulder's disappearance, come to the warehouse opposite 284 Isling Street, tonight at 8pm. Bring a camera'. Unsigned."  
  
"What the hell is that about? What's this got to do with Agent Mulder? They haven't even put a name or a signature!"  
  
Doggett replied "Are you going to go?"  
  
Scully was surprised and rather annoyed with this naive tone, but then realized he was totally serious. "I don't know...perhaps we should talk to AD Skinner first...If this is part of some big-"  
  
"It is addressed privately - to you." Doggett reminded her. "I'll come with you if you want though..."  
  
"It hope 'tonight' means this tonight". Scully thought out loud.  
  
"You going to go then?" asked Doggett again.  
  
"Yes, I will" Scully replied. "Anything about Agent Mulder, the better. Since you've offered to come, get ready to call for back-up, will you?"  
  
The wind stabbed at Agent Scully's face. She was waiting outside the warehouse instructed to enter in her letter. Doggett had not arrived yet. She tried his cell phone again. Turned off. Scully pondered on who else she might call. But she decided taking on missions that weren't officially part of her job could get her into trouble at the Bureau, causing yet more embarrassment to AD Skinner.  
  
Scully checked her holster for her gun. It was still there, as was her camera.  
  
"Stop being stupid, Dana Scully" she told herself. "That letter's not going to appear tomorrow with tonight's' events written all over then...and my gun is not going to jump out of its holster and run home screaming. So what the hell?"  
  
Scully turned gingerly into the warehouse. It was dark, and had a strange smell Scully could not quite place. She crept carefully around the warehouse, checking every room, gun loaded and at the ready. Just as she was about to give up and leave, a small figure appeared suddenly. Scully jumped in alarm, not sure where to hold her gun.  
  
"Agent Scully" said the figure. "Come with me please."  
  
The figure - who turned out to be a young woman, led Scully down a flight of stairs into a small room, lit from above with harsh strip lighting. Scully realized why she hadn't noticed the room before, and then realized the staircase was behind a camouflaged door.  
  
"Good evening, Ms Scully" said a rich, deep voice, with an English accent. "Thank you for coming."  
  
Scully looked at the man - who was standing in a shadowy corner with his face too dark to make out. "Who are you?" She asked. "What is this all about?"  
  
"I am Professor William Barker, and this is my associate, Gena Powell" he said, stepping into the light and gesturing to the small woman. Scully watched as his facial features came into view - small, dark eyes, a large, straight nose, brow lined with thought, broad chin. She didn't recognize him. "Professor of -?" she began to ask, but was interrupted.  
  
"I was beginning to believe you wouldn't turn up. I am a professor of forensic medicine, incase you wish to know."  
  
"I did wonder..." began Scully, but trailed of as she noticed Barker walking towards a large, covered box.  
  
"I hope you have bought your camera." Said Barker, pulling off the box's cover.  
  
Scully gasped. There, in front of her, was a large glass case, and within it, was a large, grey skeleton - of an alien. Its bones were very unusual, Scully noticed. They did not seem to be supported in its upright position by any joints or sockets, or evidence of muscles or tendons. It was about 2 feet high, with a large, triangular skull, very deep, dark eye sockets, and no moving jaw-bone. Its neck seemed to be fused stationary to the base of the skull, and ran smoothly in a shallow S shape to the ground. Any bones connected to it seemed to be fused together. The whole things, Scully thought, looked as if it had been shaped out of a single block of sliver clay.  
  
"It's fake" Scully said simply. You're pulling my leg."  
  
Professor Barker seemed unaffected by the degrading of his discovery and insult to his intelligence. "Why would I do that?" He answered? "Why would I construct such a being of such beauty, mystery...shrouded in layers of questions and answers uncovered, to marvel at it's simplicity...it's purity...it's intelligence...ridiculing our inferior species..." Barker stopped, suddenly aware that he was babbling. "Why", he re-started, "Why would I attempt to 'fake', as you put it, a creature such as this. You are the only person I am showing it to. If this were some huge commercial fraud, don't you think you might have read about it in the papers?" He asked with a hint of sarcasm. "Don't be so ignorant to the truth, Agent Scully. This being has the beginnings of all the world's questions." Scully scoffed. Like it could sort out world hunger, and end wars, she thought.  
  
"And it can help us find an answer to Agent Mulder's disappearance."  
  
"How?" Asked Scully. "Who, exactly are you? Why are you so interested in Agent Mulder, and why did you bring me here?"  
  
Barker gave her a look that 'I am powerful and intelligent. You are inferior and too nosy for your own good. Stop asking questions, if you want to find answers'.  
  
Scully was annoyed with this so-called Professor. She wanted straight, scientifically based answers, not the poetic rubbish Barker was coming up with. She was still rather skeptical about the discovery, even after observing the object close-up and taking some photographs. But Barker's words did have meaning. Why create such a profound object, when there was only her to appreciate it? Was she just a pawn in yet another huge conspiracy? Should she try and contact Doggett again?  
  
"Agent Scully, if they're is anything else you wish to know, please contact the Professor on this number" Gena Powell said, holding out a neat business card, indicating this was the end of Scully's visit. Scully took the card and made her way to the door.  
  
Suddenly, the door swung open. About ten government agents ran into the room, and briskly surrounded the Professor and his associate. Scully was knocked behind the, door, out of sight for now. She grabbed her camera, taking photos of the events as quickly as she could. Four government agents roughly grabbed Barker and Powell, restraining them against a wall. "What in hell are you doing?!" Barker yelled. "You can't take that! It's mine! I found it! My discovery!"  
  
The agents had bought a small cart into the room and were proceeding to lift the glass cover off the skeleton. Scully felt a chill down her spine as the saw the alien clearly, without reflections from the lighting on the case. On of the agents put his hands out, ready to lift the skeleton. He yelled, however, as his palms made contact. Scully leant forward for a better view. The groups' official, a large, burly man with a suggestion of several decades' experience behind him, strode forward, grabbing his agent's wrist. His palm was red, peeling, covered in forming blisters. The agent was moaning: "It burns!" He said.  
  
The burly man clapped his hands, and addressed the group with a deep, powerful voice. "Don't touch the object" he said simply. "Get it back in the case and lift it onto the cart. You four", he said, looking at the agents holding Barker and Powell, who had fallen silent, "get those two up for questioning". There was a mutter of 'yes sirs' whilst the procedure was carried out.  
  
Scully followed the group as they carried the alien and the two associates to a large army-camp van. They loaded the case into the back of the van, then handcuffed the two together and frog-marched them into the van. Scully ran quickly to her car. She started the engine, and took off as quickly as was safe, only just aware of the 'Hey - you! Stop!' from one of the agents behind her.  
  
Officer Brennan and his boys arrived at the gate of the base. "ID please" barked security.  
  
Brennan gave his name and ID codes of him and his soldiers. The gate lifted and they drove through the dark, unlit side-road into a huge metal airplane hanger. "Load it off" Brennan shouted. "We don't have all night. This thing has to reach Texas by 6am."  
  
The soldiers worked quickly to unlock the chains around a large wooden box. Using a hammer, they removed the box's lid and kicked down the sides, revealing the case. The alien had vanished.  
  
The next morning, Scully knocked briskly on Agent Doggett's office, walking in without waiting for a reply.  
  
"In a bit on a hurry today, are we Scully?" Doggett said, surprised.  
  
"I have to show you something" Scully told him. "I got these developed last night, after visiting that warehouse. You will not believe what I saw."  
  
"Try me", said Doggett, taking the photos from her. He looked at them with a poker face.  
  
"The invite was from a so-called Professor of forensic medicine William Barker. He introduced me to Mr. Grey here. Unfortunately before I was able to get him to send me a piece for proper analysis, a group of army boys stormed in and took the 'alien' here and Barker and his associate or protégée or whoever she was into the back of their van."  
  
Doggett nodded.  
  
"Agent Doggett...did you just hear what I told you? I mean, I thought you might at least laugh, not just sit there...blinking..."  
  
"Scully, I had a phone call from Barker just before you got in. I've heard the story from him. He was released last night from the army base - no evidence to hold him against anything yet."  
  
Scully stared at him "He phoned you?" She asked in amazement. "Why'd he phone you? He told me I was the only one who was to know about it. Well, apart from that woman and then the army...Would he have phoned me if I hadn't turned up then? Geez."  
  
"He phoned me because I'm your partner and he wants us to try and retrieve the alien."  
  
"Are you kidding? That thing's been taken to a military controlled building...if we even did get clearance to get to the building, there's not way we'd get an excuse to see the skeleton!"  
  
Just then the phone rang: Doggett picked it up. "Yes she's here...I'll send her up...yes sir."  
  
"What was that about, Doggett?" Scully questioned.  
  
"AD Skinner wants you upstairs. You'd better go."  
  
Assistant Director Skinner walked up to Scully. "I've yet to hear what this is about, but to be honest, Agent Scully, I really don't want to know."  
  
They walked into Skinner's office. Waiting was army officer Brennan and a young solider. "Agent Scully. You're coming with us" said the officer, not looking at her. The younger man took hold of Scully's arm and led her - confused and rather angry - downstairs with the officer behind them.  
  
In the army van, Scully sat handcuffed between Officer Brennan and soldier.  
  
"Rather stupid letting us take your number plate, when you're obviously such an important, secret part to this whole project."  
  
"What the hell is all this about?" Scully said, angrily.  
  
"Oh come off the innocent act" said the officer. "I can smell guilt on a woman like dung on a donkey" he said. Scully was not impressed by this comparism.  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about. Yes...I took a photo or two...but other that being invited by that professor...I have nothing to do with this whole event."  
  
"Perhaps you'll give another answer back at the base. Hopefully an explanation for this thing's powers."  
  
Scully was led into the same warehouse where the box had been opened. Waiting was Agent Doggett and Professor Barker. Behind them was the empty alien case, and surrounding them, several soldiers. "Care to explain what this is about Officer?" Scully barked.  
  
"Scully. The alien has disappeared" said Barker.  
  
Scully turned round, startled.  
  
"This thing" said Brennan, "was loaded up onto a truck in full view of my boys and, I believe, yourself. It was then placed in a solid wooden box, and 5 chains were padlocked around it. It was then placed in the back of our van, still surrounded by my boys, and bought directly to this hanger. It was then unpacked by the same people who had packed it. It was not there."  
  
Scully was puzzled. "How do you mean-" she began.  
  
"I mean it has disappeared, Agent Scully" replied Barker.  
  
"That's impossible" she said.  
  
"Bit rich coming from you, Agent Scully?" It was Brennan. "I hear from Agent Doggett that you've had several years experience of strange encounters and unexplained mysteries with you partnership of Agent Mulder?"  
  
"You called me and Agent Doggett here to work out where this thing's gone?" Scully questioned.  
  
"Correct" replied Brennan. "Thing's like this don't happen to us. A skeleton does not simply disappear out of a solid glass cage. I want you to find out where is has gone, how it got out, and why this has happened."  
  
"And if we refuse this case?"  
  
"If you refuse, you're going to be here for a long time."  
  
Doggett sat at his desk at home, flicking though his address book. He kept turning round, distracted. The large soldier assigned by Brennan to guard Doggett was staring at him, standing very still. Doggett rolled his eyes. "Would you like some coffee?" He asked. "You can sit down...if you want." The guard said nothing. "Ok then..." said Doggett. "Well...I'm just gonna...you know...call of nature" he said, slipping his cell phone into his pocket and turning into the bathroom. The guard followed him - but - thankfully, waited outside the door.  
  
Doggett tore down the curtain covering the window. He opened the window wide, and lifted himself out onto the balcony. Quickly and quietly, he tied the curtain to the balcony rail. He then let the curtain fall to the ground, and switched on his cell phone.  
  
The guard outside became impatient. He had noticed a balcony that could be reached via the bathroom window. He attempted to kick down the door, but then realized it was unlocked. Doggett, of course, was not there. The guard saw the curtain hanging from the balcony, and, with surprising grace and fluidity, jumped from the balcony, to the ground, then stepped into his van, where he began to chase Doggett's' cars that was reversing quickly out of the drive. Doggett slid down from the roof, talking into his cell phone. "That's great Gary" he said. "Just take her a mile or so up the road and call it a day."  
  
Doggett arrived at Scully's flat to find her having only just arrived home.  
  
"Got rid of him, did you?" She asked. "They kept me there for a few hours, then released me without the embarrassment of having my own, personal bodyguard. Got any ideas about this apparent alien disappearance then?"  
  
"No" Doggett replied, "but I have had a phone call from Barker. He wants us round at his house this evening where he can personally show us how he apparently found that thing, and he wants our theories how it vanished, so far, of which I have none."  
  
Barker led the agents into his private laboratory that turned out to be his kitchen. Gena Powell followed him around like a small dog.  
  
Scully was rather fascinated at his work - she flicked though his notepads, admiring the science. She glanced at the photos of the alien skeleton that were pinned up on the wall. "Upsetting, isn't?" Said Brennan, appearing beside her. "That all we have left of this wondrous creature is these photos and our memories." Scully nodded, not sure if she agreed or not.  
  
Doggett was also somewhat intrigued by the scientist's laboratory. This must be more of a hobby, he thoughts, as is has little to do with forensics! He watched as Barker took a small egg from a beaker, boiling over a Bunsen burner. "What's that?" He asked. Barker placed the egg into a wire holder, and, using a tea-spoon, smashed the top of the egg. "This is my mid-evening snack", he replied as he began to eat the egg.  
  
Brennan switched on a TV/video-cassette player and inserted a video cassette. "I want to show you how I came across this being" he told the agents as he pressed play. They saw a young couple in the desert. One, Scully noticed, was a very different looking Gena Powell. The two of them were sweeping at a large silver dome partially buried in the sand. It was obviously the alien. The young man attempted to lift up the creature's skull, but as he touched it, it scorched his hands. They were covered in blisters. "That's exactly what happened to the soldier when he tried to touch it. I can see how the hot desert sand could bring something to such a temperature to burn one's hands - but in a warehouse?"  
  
"This happened about 3 weeks ago. Myself, Miss Powell here and her boyfriend were on a fossil-hunting expedition, where we came across this skeleton. We gained clearance at the airport to ship it home, without letting on what it really was. Unfortunately, Miss Powell's boyfriend, we suspect, tipped the army off about where to find the thing. No one has seen it since."  
  
Doggett was finishing a small drink with Brennan. It was late evening, and the four of them sat out of the patio.  
  
"So, Agent Doggett, you had any more ideas about what's happened to this alien?"  
  
"Not what's happened to it, Professor. But I have to say...we both know that thing is as much of an alien as my arse."  
  
The professor simply smiled. "Ah...but you're yet to know how I came about creating it."  
  
"Well, yeah, you got me pretty stumped there. A good little trick you had going on there, with some Oscar-worthy acting, and a not-so-fabulous fake home-made video."  
  
"Thank you for that compliment Agent Doggett. But here's a little clue. It's an alien, isn't it? That's a clue in itself."  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about Professor."  
  
"One of the nine planets, Agent Doggett, that's very cold."  
  
"A planet that's very cold? Well that's obviously Pluto. Furthest away from the sun, it's not a gas planet."  
  
"Scully...I don't think there's anything obvious about it. Not when dealing with someone like him. But we'll take Pluto...just to make it feel like we're getting somewhere. What can you think of to do with Pluto that could help solve this thing?"  
  
"All I can think of is Pluto the dog!" replied Scully. "Well, I guess there's the theory it was part of a comet...it was the Roman god of the Underworld...Hmm. We have to look at this in a different perspective. More lateral approach. What was it, exactly, he said?"  
  
"One of the nine planets that's very cold."  
  
"I think I've just got it." Said Scully confidently. Doggett looked at her.  
  
"You are kidding." He said.  
  
"I am not," laughed Scully. "Sometimes it helps to be more literal than lateral."  
  
Scully shone her torch into a tiny hole in the base of the case the skeleton was held in. "Yes. Take a look Doggett, and you too Brennan.  
  
Doggett peered inside. He saw a light, silvery liquid inside a small compartment of the case. "That's our alien?"  
  
"I believe so" said Scully, smirking at Brennan and Barker. "One of the nine?" she said. "Number one of the nine! Mercury. That's what this thing was made of, wasn't it? That's very cold? Well, we started thinking of the planets furthest away, Pluto for instance. But it had another meaning. Mercury has to be kept very cold for it to be at a solid state? Minus what? 33, 34?"  
  
"Thirty seven degrees" corrected Brennan.  
  
Doggett carried on. "So you mould this little alien out of liquid mercury, and keep it enclosed in a refrigerated unit, which, in the warehouse, was the case it was enclosed it. Unfortunately, when the case was lifted from the table it was on - specially prepared and placed in the room - the temperature control was disconnected and the alien began to melt away, into this compartment, though small pores in the base. It was in the hot van, for what, forty five minutes? Plenty of time for this thing to melt away like an ice cube in the sun. In a nutshell, to make sure that no one found out the truth about the 'discovery', you made sure it could 'disappear' into 'thin air'. Very clever."  
  
"Thank you, Agent Doggett. My congratulations to the two of you for solving this little conundrum. One thing though: you haven't worked out why I did this, or what it's got to do with Agent Mulder's disappearance."  
  
"Unfortunately we haven't...I'm sure we could with a bit more time...but perhaps you could just humor us and reveal all?"  
  
"I worked with Agent Mulder's father" Barker told them. "Also with a certain C.G.B Spender as he was known to us-"  
  
"The Smoking Man?" asked Scully.  
  
"Yes...I believe that was his alias. Very appropriate. Anyway, I created this little sculpture here primelary for the two of you. I wanted you to believe it was a real alien, or at least begin to believe it. Unfortunately, when I told you Miss Powell's fiancé tipped off the army about the existence of what was believed to be a creature of alien origin, his real plan was to sell the story to the media, who would pay greatly."  
  
"So you tipped yourself off?" Said Doggett, beginning to get the picture now.  
  
"Yes. Miss Powell tipped off the army with my agreement the morning prior to your visit, so that it would be discovered by a more reliable source than America's tabloids - and who wouldn't pay several thousand to a greedy young man. Anyway, as you have discovered already, I had created the alien so that if it were to be disconnected from its temperature control - i.e., stolen - it would soon disappear, by melting away into the base.  
  
"I wanted to give you both a piece of advice that was given to me by Spender before his death. But I wanted it to have some greater meaning and depth, rather than I just telling you this advice. I wanted you to be able to use this advice in your quest for find Agent Mulder."  
  
"What is this piece of advice?" Asked Scully.  
  
A look of deep sincerity fell over the old man's face. "The truth, it's not 'out there'", he said, waving towards the sky. He then pointed to his temple. "The truth is in here."  
  
The End 


End file.
